The Call, The Journey, The Fears

Princess Stones

“Ho, every one that thirsts, come ye to the waters, and he that has no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Wherefore do ye spend money for that which is not bread? and your labour for that which satisfies not? hearken diligently unto me, and eat ye that which is good, and let you soul delight itself in fatness. Incline your ear, and come unto me: hear, and your soul shall live; and I will make an everlasting covenant with you, even the sure mercies of David.”            Isaiah 55:1-3

            If there is one thing I HATE to talk about, it is food. Not because I don’t like food, but for the very opposite of that. I LOVE food! The problem is that I do not love it in a healthy way. I am ashamed of my relationship with food. Our relationship is rather like an affair, torrid moments behind closed doors. Sugary beverages downed in a hurry to get rid of the evidence of another failure to repress my urges.

            While I know that the passage above is not really about food, I also know that my torrid love affair with food is not really about food. My cravings and addiction (yes that is what it really is!) stem from a desperate longing inside of me. This longing is one we all share. As women we long to be enough, not just good enough but enough, pure and simple. We aren’t. We aren’t enough, and because of that all of us have things, little bad habits, addictions that we can’t shake. We all have things that eat us up inside, but we don’t tell people, because we swallow the lie that we should be stronger than this. We shouldn’t need help overcoming this; it is too small, too far beneath other’s notice. I know, I’ve been there, recently too. And it is all a lie!

            Ladies, I’ve been amazed recently at how hard Satan works to keep us from realizing our full potential in God. I know four women who posses amazing spiritual gifts. These women are strong prayer warriors. They love their husbands and their children without reserve. More than that, they love God with every fiber of their being, and all of these women have something in common. They all struggle with not being enough.

            I want to say a few things right now. These things might shock you; I pray that God helps them resonate within your souls like they have in mine.

          #1. It is a lie that you should be able to fix yourself by yourself. Christianity is not a religion of isolation. We are given a communion of saints so that we can know the comfort of not being alone! Even Jesus got lonely. The disciples traveled with companions, and Paul talks in his letters about the comfort he gets from knowing that people dear to him (FRIENDS) are praying for him even while he is under house arrest!

            I am so thankful for the husband God has given me. I am able to share with him my deepest fears and struggles and not only does he listen without trying to fix it right away (a huge feat for most men) but he is the first one to pray with me, to go to the Word and find promises and strength where I have none.

           

            #2. Satan DOES NOT lie when he tells you that you are not enough, he lies when he tells you that you SHOULD  be.

            We can NEVER be enough, and praise God for that! Can you imagine the pressure? I know you can, because we all put it on ourselves, and that is the problem. Can you imagine the joy we would live with if instead of hanging our heads in shame when we hear that we aren’t enough, we just laughed at Satan and said, “Of course I’m not enough, silly, I don’t have to be because Christ is!” Not only will the Name of God send the devil scurrying back into his dark hole, but we will be unbound by his lies, centered on the truth.

            God has something special for each one of you to accomplish. Yet each one of us so often comes up against a wall when we try to follow God’s call on our lives. I believe this is because Satan is terrified by what will happen to our families, our friends, and the world we live in if we actually finish our tasks! I’m embarking on a journey to see the struggle for what it really is. My addiction to food? I’ve discovered that I am not getting enough of the spiritual food I need. Writer’s block? Satan doesn’t want me to write, which tells me that God is going to give me something to say one of these days. Feelings of unworthiness? I have a hunch that once we shake off the shackles and allow God to move within us, unencumbered by doubt, caution, fatigue, and all those other things that come up the moment we decide to really follow God, we are going to know that in Him we are worth more than we ever imagined.

            I promise to tell the truth in this blog. The purpose is to let you know that you are not alone. I will be giving ideas of how to stand against Satan’s lies. One way for me is the act of writing this very blog. I have always felt called to write, and at the same time, completely helpless to say anything people would want to hear. Thanks to my dear Mom and my husband, I am going to give God the very best I have to offer, and leave the results up to Him.

            Please leave comments. If you have a specific struggle I would love the opportunity to carry you in prayer. If you have an idea of how to stand firm against the enemy I would love to hear it. If you have a scripture that speaks to this journey, or one that God has given you in relation to your own journey, I would love to read it. Let me know what you think, and if you would, pray for me as well!

In the overwhelming flood of Christ’s love, we are all Princess Stones, being polished by His grace.