Confession Time

I am tired. I am tired, and frustrated, sick of feeling weak and helpless. This week has been really hard. I have been struck more than once, by my crushing need of God, and worse, by how often I shrug off that need and try to walk without my Father’s hand to guide me. Really, it is no wonder that I feel tired, my spirit is probably black and blue from all the times I have fallen down on my face by trying to walk on my own.

            I don’t know if any of you struggle with this, but the moment that I am struck by how much I need God, I start to come up with all these ways to keep myself more in His presence. I look at my life and realize how much time I devote to things other than serving God and spending time in His presence, and I get depressed. In response, I try to fix myself.

            In writing that I realize that likely my trying to fix myself is part of the problem. I don’t need a 5, 6, 7, or 11 step program to give myself all the rights habits. Not that building more godly habits is bad, but it won’t fix everything.

            I NEED God, and where do I find Him? In prayer, and in His Word. When I feel the crushing weight of my need of Him, I need to turn my eyes on Him, throw myself at His feet in prayer, and into His Word. Only this will bring me closer to Him, and allow Him to fix my faltering feet. Only HE can fix me. I cannot fix myself.

            God, I pray that I will remember to always throw myself at Your feet when I feel the crushing weight of my need of You. Please remind me that I cannot fix anything, only You can fix me, only You can fix anything that is broken. You are the healer, and I am the patient, not the other way around. Forgive me for treating You as though You were only the medicine, and not the Doctor.

            Please work Your perspective in my life, that I may see the world around me with Your eyes. I can pray this only because of Christ paying the ransom for my sins. In His Name, Amen.

“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a Righteous person is powerful and effective.”  James 5:13-16